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She felt him stiffen, which told her more than words ever could have. He didn t want her love. He
wanted the passion and he even wanted companionship but he didn t want love.
She was close to tears as he pulled their bodies apart and started to get dressed.  We better get out of
here before some unsuspecting tourist happens to walk by, he said in an almost cold tone.
Jessica s heart was breaking into a million pieces. What had started as the perfect day was ending
with devastation. The hurt was unlike anything she d ever experienced before. She loved him so
much. Why couldn t he feel the same way about her? She thought she felt love when he held her in his
arms. It seemed like he loved her but maybe to him sex and love were two completely different
things.
She quickly dressed herself and then walked slowly back to the hotel with Alex. It was like walking
with a stranger, he was so distant.  I know I told you I wouldn t be working much but something came
up and I will be busy all day tomorrow, he said as they entered the suite.
 I understand, Jessica replied.
 I need to finish some work tonight, he said as he headed to the office. She didn t even reply. She
just headed off to take a shower and then to bed, where she could cry herself to sleep.
The next two days and nights of her honeymoon were miserable. Alex was gone all day, returning too
late for them to go out. She spent her time on the beach and shopping all alone. They did make love in
the evenings but it was different. She could feel he was holding something back and when they were
done, he turned away from her, seeming to fall asleep quickly.
Jessica was relieved on the third day when he said everything was finished up and they could head
back home. She didn t know what to expect when they got back. She was sure things would go back to
her barely seeing him and her love for him aching to be set free. She had to make a decision of what
to do, sooner rather than later.
 I was a compete ass, Alex said to his older brother Lucas.  I knew she was falling in love with me
but selfishly I wanted her to keep it to herself and not bring it out in the open. I don t have the time or
energy for that kind of relationship but I ve really shut her out and don t know how to make things go
back to the way they were, he finished.
 What s so wrong with your wife loving you and you her? Lucas asked, sounding stunned.
 There s nothing wrong with it when you have a relationship like you and Amy. Jessica and I have an
understanding. We have Jacob to think about and if we get all these emotions mixed up then we re
jeopardizing the whole thing.
He knew even as he said it, how wrong it sounded. They had a child together, so how could love
mess that up? Well, besides his parents and now Lucas and Amy, Alex hadn t seen a lot of good
marriages. They all ended in divorce with bitter custody battles. Alex figured if he kept love out of
the equation, he d never have to worry about divorce. The thought of Jessica and Jacob not being
there with him every day tore his heart to pieces.
 I think you re in a whole hell of a lot of denial, little brother. You have an amazing wife, who
obviously loves you and you know what? I think it s pretty obvious you love her too. Why not quit
fighting it and just enjoy being with your family, Lucas stated.
 Yeah, whatever. I have to get going. I ll be gone all week and I m sure everything will be normal
when I return home, he said, praying it was true.
 Good luck, Lucas said before Alex departed.
 How are you doing? You look like you don t feel too well, Amy said. She and Jessica met for a
girl s day out. They were sitting at the salon having their nails done when Amy questioned her.
 I have a nasty flu that s been going around but I ll be fine, she replied, hoping to feel better sooner
rather than later.
 If you need to rest up we can reschedule our day out, Amy offered.
 No, I ve been looking forward to this all week. Alex has been gone for a few days and even before
he left I ve hardly saw him. I need some good old fashioned girl talk. How is everything going with
you? she asked. She was desperately trying to push away the queasiness.
 I m doing so much better. Can you believe Isaiah is already two weeks old? He s such a great baby
too. He actually lets me get four hours of sleep in a row. I m really glad I hired the nanny, too. It s
been such a great help having her around. Jasmine absolutely adores her and I ve been able to get
plenty of naps in. Plus I feel safe stepping out for the afternoon with you, she said with enthusiasm.
 I know how quickly time flies. I can t believe Jacob is almost a year old. I want to go back to the
beginning, though the full nights rest part is pretty nice, she added.
 I think I would be happy having about ten more kids. Don t look at me so horrified. I love being a
mother and Lucas is about the best husband in the world. Plus, I think Joseph would think he d died
and gone to heaven having that many grandkids surrounding him. I really love this family so much,
she gushed.
Jessica sat for a few moments without saying anything. She wanted more kids so badly but if things
didn t change with her husband she didn t see that happening. He was content just having Jacob. She
wondered what he would say if she told him she wanted to have another baby. She didn t really want
to think about his reaction. He most likely would shut her out more.
 I ve always wanted to have a large family. I love my parents beyond anything but it was lonely
growing up as an only child. I ve never wanted that for Jacob, Jessica finally responded.
 Are you guys planning on another little one anytime soon? she asked with a wink.  The trying part
is so much fun, she added with a giggle.
 We haven t talked about it, was all Jessica said. She was having a really hard time fighting off the
tears. She wasn t normally so emotional but she figured being so lonely lately was most likely
contributing to that.
 Alex adores Jacob so much. I m sure he d like to have a few more running around. Talk to him about
it. You know grandpa is going to be expecting another one soon, Amy said.
 Joseph is about the greatest man there is. I can t believe how lucky Jacob is to have such an amazing
grandfather. Plus Katherine is a dream grandmother. I love the quilt she made for Jacob. She comes
over and visits all the time. I really regret them not getting those first three months with their
grandson, Jessica said with some sadness.
 They completely understand though. You were unsure about the relationship and thought you were
doing the right thing. What matters most is you re all together now. I know things can be really tough
sometimes but hang in there, Amy said.
Jessica didn t want to talk about the tension between her and Alex, so she decided it was a great time
to change the subject.  I ve been dying to try the new Thai place a few blocks away. Do you want to
go there for lunch? she asked.
Amy took the hint and they discussed lunch and the kids and just about everything else except
husbands. Jessica felt herself relaxing and really enjoyed the rest of the day. She really did have an
amazing sister-in-law. By the time they got back to the house, she was more relaxed than she d been
before her impromptu honeymoon. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]